This Side of Paradise
Prompted by fond memories of reading The Great Gatsby in high school, 
I recently picked up F. Scott Fitzgerald’s first book, This Side of Paradise. I found it quite enjoyable and more experimental in style than I was expecting.
Here’s an interesting excerpt in which the protagonist, Amory Blaine, “interviews” himself:
Q.-What would be the test of corruption?
A.-Becoming really insincere–calling myself “not such a bad fellow,” thinking I regretted my lost youth when I only envy the delights of losing it. Youth is like having a big plate of candy. Sentimentalists think they want to be in the pure, simple state they were in before they ate the candy. They don’t. They just want the fun of eating it all over again. The matron doesn’t want to repeat her girlhood–she wants to repeat her honeymoon. I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again.
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Has your brother happened to make any more fantastic music? A friend and I have decided that we are thoroughly impressed and are curious to see what else he can produce. How old is he?
I can see the truth in what Fitzgerald’s saying, wanting the fun and not the state. However, I also imagine that given so much has to happen to us for us to grow up it can be quite desireable to have some of that innocence back, to lose some of your cynicism, to think in ideals once more.
I’ve been bugging him about it. I know he has a number of songs in the works since he’s sent me the occasional sample. He recently purchased a MicroKorg synthesizer off eBay which should help further broaden his electronic palette. Expect some new tunes soon!
As for Fitzgerald, that’s why I found the quote interesting; it ran contrary to the prevalent sentiment about growing up.
I wish I could have the fun of losing my innocence to Ryan Boyle that fresh summer’s day all over again.
I think there is a support group for people with this exact problem.